yankee candle has released a new line of man candles that smell like sawdust and freshly cut grass. you know, for those nights where you just want to hang out with the guys by candlelight. [ laughter ] a new study suggests that tiny fish used in a trendy new type of pedicure in which they feed on the dead skin of people's feet contain a type of antibiotic-resistant bacteria that spreads infections. though on the bright side, that would kill all the right people. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] a new report shows that gesturing with your hands while talking is an innate trait among humans, whispered a campaign aide to mitt romney. a new study showed that the biggest turn-on for 18 to 34 is a sexy text message while the biggest turn-on for older people

is people ages 18 to 34. producers of a vice show were surprised when they discovered footage of their janitor masturbating in their offices. said the janitor, "so, any advice?" delta airlines plans to fly dozens of new york rangers fans from queens to newark, new jersey so they can attend their playoff game against the new jersey devils. and it's a pretty cheap flight because there's a two-hour layover in denver. [ laughter ] well, it's almost summertime in new york city which means millions of people will be hitting the streets to see what new york in the summer has to offer. here with some tips on what they should check out is our city correspondent, stephon. [ cheers and applause ] here he is. hey, stefon. >> hi. >> what have you been up to, buddy?

>> oh, the things these eyes have seen. >> yeah. now, stefon, the summer means lots of special events. what's a good venue for families looking to get together and celebrate? >> if you're looking to celebrate this summer, i know just the place for you. new york's hottest club is scampi. [ laughter ] illegally parked behind the statue of liberty. this hate speech haven is the creation of frat boy guru d-bag chopra. [ laughter ] this place has everything, zip drives, gozers, ke$ha. and guess who may drop by. is it ryan seacrest? no, it's a drowned albino who looks like axl rose. [ laughter ] but for the kids, there's a special workshop where they can build a bear but not the kind you think. [ laughter ] so come by this weekend and check out a vip section filled with fertile necks. >> do you mean turtlenecks? >> no, no, no, no.

fertile necks. it's that thing when like fat guys have a beard but only on their chin roll. [ laughter ] >> stefon, i don't mean to cut you off, but that place just doesn't sound right. >> but they even have a pack of roaming draggers. >> what are draggers? >> it's that thing when an old dog has short legs but a long penis. [ laughter and applause ] >> stefon! now, new york has so many cultural events during the summer months. can you recommend just one of those? >> yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. you want culture and you want it now, i've got the place for you. new york's hottest club is -- [ laughter ] written and directed by james o. brooks.

this place has everything. backpacks, sea lions, ron wood. a rental car filled with bottled water. my best friend, joel. plus, a special appearance by evil celebrity chef wario batali. he's just like his brother except he doesn't wear crocs. >> i can't wait to meet him. but stefon, for people who want culture like regular culture like theater, where can they go? >> try blindfolded cedar group "shakespeare in the dark." >> macbeth? >> no, jackbeth, a female bodybuilder. she's got a heart of gold and a voice as deep as the mighty mississippi. >> she sounds like quite the woman. >> i went to prom with her. >> i'm going to narrow it down. why don't you tell us some spots we can go to for fourth of july. >> absolutely. if you want to celebrate the

fourth of july in style, new york's hottest club is hello. [ cheers and applause ] >> what place? >> hello. this place has everything. rafis, cabs driven by yetis, with nowhere to turn. just for the fourth of july, they've got a special display of jewish fireworks. >> what are jewish fireworks? >> the ones that go beeooeh. the whole thing is hosted by cross-dressing founding father jenjamin franklin. and if there's a lightning storm, he'll tie a key to the end of it. >> the end of his kite? >> no, honey, not his kite.

this year on america's birthday, give her what she really wants, a hearty salute and a human r2d2. >> i'm sorry, what is that? >> when a midget on roller skates dials a speakerphone, and you put a garbage can over their head. >> all right, stefon. stefon. you can count me out because i'm taking my girlfriend to the beach, and i'd invite you but there's only room for two in our convertible. >> fine. i guess i'll just eat poison till i die. aww. come on. >> you can come. i'll make my girlfriend walk. >> fourth of july. >> we'll celebrate with a bang. wait, no, i meant -- >> too late. we're doing it. >> stefon, everybody! have a great summer! ♪ here to here.

this bigger screen goes from here to here. now that's either a) an amazing coincidence .. or b) a dazzling display of common sense. pretty sure it's the common sense thing. boring. boring. [ jack ] after lauren broke up with me, i went to the citi private pass page and decided to be...not boring. that's how i met marilyn... giada... really good. yes! [ jack ] ...and alicia. ♪ this girl is on fire

[ male announcer ] use any citi card to get the benefits of private pass. more concerts, more events, more experiences. [ jack ] hey, who's boring now? [ male announcer ] get more access with the citi card. [ crowd cheering, mouse clicks ] [ man ] and what did you think? i loved it. why? 'cause it's a toyota, of course! i want a car that's gonna last me for a little while. ♪ i like the bells and whistles. that's my favorite part about the car. i like the navigation. i like the entune. and it's fast. [ male announcer ] see ja ne't's story and more at the camry effect. from toyota. ♪

tonight, three dancers perform. one will win. this is "so you think you can dance at an outdoor music festival." >> hi, i'm dave matthews. remember me from college? ♪ pretty baby welcome to "so you think you can dance at an outdoor music festival." we scour festivals like bonnaroo and lollapalooza to find the best dancers and tonight we're down to the final three. please welcome our judges. first up, is rob thomas's best friend, santana. ♪ >> santana. >> next up, she got your older sister through some tough times. jewel.

♪ >> and finally, our guest judge tonight is on loan from "american idol" and those weird burger king commercials, we're lucky to have her, steven tyler! [ cheers and applause ] >> before i start, i would just like to thank all the reptiles that gave their lives for my jacket! yeah! >> all right. it's time for the first performance of the night. dancing to the grateful dead live at summer fest, it's willow vance. ♪ i will get by i will get by >> all right. let's see what our judges say. santana? >> i'll tell you one thing, if you would leave, it would be a crying shame.

>> are you going to keep quoting your song "smooth" all season? >> hey, you tell me another one of my songs. >> all right. steven tyler? >> i thought that was awesome! i have three things to say about it! ow, wow and bock, bock, bock, bock, bock! ♪ it's got central heating and i'm all right ♪ next up, dancing to, oh, one of my many hits is "flip sanders." ♪ ♪ flip. right here, buddy. all right. judges. jewel? >> i'm torn.

on one hand, it was like -- ♪ but on the other hand, it's like -- ♪ >> i loved it, but it needed more scarf. i'd give you mine, but it keeps my head from falling off. >> all right. ♪ snickerdoodle we're very excited for this next performer. he's on mushrooms. dancing with a garbage bag he found is groove willie. ♪ >> judges, your thoughts? >> i haven't taken this hat off in 40 years. but tonight, it's off to you. >> that dance was awesome!

almost as awesome as burger king's new crispy chicken strips. ♪ chicken strips are tasty [ cheers and applause ]